Just in Time for the Holidays- More BS!

A while ago, I alluded to the fact that some annoying crap is going on in my life, but didn't have time to get into it. Well, now that there's another bit of crap that's popped up, I'm going to make the time. The last story I wrote about was the texting between my SIL and me. (title-Crazy Sil. I don't know how to insert the link to it) Let's call her K, although I usually refer to her as a totally different word. After that all happened, Dan and I found out that she tells our mother-in-law everything that goes on in this crazy feud between us- K and M, and me and Dan, or just K and me. So, who knows what my MIL is thinking of me all this time. No doubt she's been filling her head with a bunch of junk that's not true. She's never heard my side. So, that pisses us off. How dare she try to mess up what progress I've actually made with my MIL!

Well, K was due to have her second baby a week before I was due with Nathan. In August. We were still not talking since the whole texting fiasco. Oh sure, she was at my baby shower, we said hello, and that was it. And I actually had to give her another gift b/c my MIL decided to give her ANOTHER little shower, even though this is her second girl, and her first one is only 2-and-a-half. (I think she was needing a bit of attention- I passed on a box of diapers I had just received and got a sleep and play half price! No part of me wanted to be there.) We heard through the grapevine that she was being induced on a Friday, but didn't know at what time. So, on Saturday, Dan had called his mom to find out what was going on. She told him they had had the baby, but she'd let M tell us the news. Dan later received a text from M which said- “Not that you people give a s#!*, but K had a C-section last night.”

Now, first of all, we obviously cared, or we wouldn't have called Dan's mom to find out the facts. But, there M was, perpetuating the feud, and right before I was going to give birth myself! As if I didn't have enough stress about that! So, Dan is shaking he's so angry, and I was just in shock. He tries to let his other brother in on what was said so he could show their Mom, but the message gets distorted and Dan's mom thinks that Dan is the one who said something wrong. They get into a fight, and then Dan and M have it out on the phone that night. I was proud of Dan, though, for saying a lot of things that have been on our minds and getting some of my jabs in there, which rarely happens. And when I say jabs, I really mean well thought out facts that are said to make people see that we are not the evil doers in this situation.

Second of all, he referred to us as, “you people.” What is that?! When Dan asked what that was all about, M said that during my whole texting chaos with K in May, I had called them that. This was untrue. I didn't have the messages saved in my phone any longer, and I wish I had. But there I was, racking my brain, defending myself to Dan, trying to recount every word I had said. I remember that I purposely didn't say anything that would raise a red flag with anyone, since I knew that it would come back to bite me. I guess K got creative in the retelling of the story!

So, things were never really worked out between Dan and M. Then, about three weeks after I have Nathan, we stop over to Dan's parents' house so they can see their grandson, and so Dan's grandmother can meet him. This was after a wedding the rest of the family had gone to, but we did not, since we had too much going on. After a long car ride with an unhappy infant, we walk in, right into a crowd of people. K and M were there, right in the middle of the crowd. I was a wreck! We had to change Nathan in the next room, and Dan's cousins came in and were talking to us about the boy. M and K didn't even come over to us and meet their nephew, or talk to us, ask me how I am, nothing. They actually left right after we got there, which said a lot.

Once in a while M will text Dan something ridiculous like, “Should we send you an invite to S's baptism? I'd understand if you don't want to come.” Of course we went, and were ignored by them, as usual. K did come over to the table we were at briefly and looked at Nathan, and I said, “This is Nathan,” in a tone which said, “It's about fricken time you look at your own nephew, you witch.” I am not going to go up to these people and try to talk to them, nor is Dan, b/c we were not the ones with the problem from the beginning. I just don't need the drama.

OK. So, the most recent bit of bull happened this past weekend. We were minding our own business when Dan got a text message from M saying, “My wife and I think it might be best if we only see each other once this holiday so if you do get the girls anything bring it on the 29th & don't tell Mom.” Now, first of all, on the 29th we have plans to get together with out-of-state relatives, and we all have to be there. And, it was quite possible that it would have worked out this year that we would only see them on the 29th, anyway, since we don't always end up being on the same rotation as far as Christmas Eve and Christmas Day goes. We rotate where we spend the days, and I don't think they do. This would mean that unlike last year, when we saw them on the Eve, (and they had no reaction to our happy news of being pregnant) we would probably not be seeing them on Christmas, anyway. This has not been hammered down, though, since they might have been planning on getting together at Dan's parents after Christmas dinner to do presents. I was hoping that we could skip this anyway, since it's so far away, and we'd be at Dan's Aunt's for dinner, and who knows how late we'd be leaving there. I really don't want to have Nathan out too late. But what was M planning on doing? Asking if we were going to be there, and then saying they couldn't make it? That would be obvious, wouldn't it?

So I guess the main reason he wanted to give Dan this message was to piss us off and keep this crap going through the holiday. Instead of just seeing what happens, and enjoying their new daughter, and her first Christmas, and letting us enjoy ours with our son. Adding “don't tell Mom” really makes us laugh, b/c he's the one starting crap again, and yet he plays the old, “I don't want to spoil Mom's holiday” bull. Well what about our holiday!? This is year five in a row that he's done something like this, either with us, or with Dan's cousin, to rock the boat and cause family drama. Dan is the one being a good son and NOT telling his mother about this. But the funny thing is, he knows that even if he did, he would somehow be seen as being the one in the wrong.

You know, I would think that this boy would just be happy for his brother, this being the happiest time in his life. We tried and failed for more than two years to start a family, and now that we have a son, he's not the least bit interested in what's going on with Dan. He may have asked Dan once how Nathan's doing since he was born. It's all about him- it always has been.

So, that is what I get to deal with this Christmas. I am trying not to let this spoil my attitude for my family's sake. I just wish Dan's mother really understood what was going on here. I am going to have to grow a backbone and tell her one of these days, that it's not us who like to cause trouble. It's the golden couple. Wish me luck!