Just in Time for the Holidays- More BS!

A while ago, I alluded to the fact that some annoying crap is going on in my life, but didn't have time to get into it. Well, now that there's another bit of crap that's popped up, I'm going to make the time. The last story I wrote about was the texting between my SIL and me. (title-Crazy Sil. I don't know how to insert the link to it) Let's call her K, although I usually refer to her as a totally different word. After that all happened, Dan and I found out that she tells our mother-in-law everything that goes on in this crazy feud between us- K and M, and me and Dan, or just K and me. So, who knows what my MIL is thinking of me all this time. No doubt she's been filling her head with a bunch of junk that's not true. She's never heard my side. So, that pisses us off. How dare she try to mess up what progress I've actually made with my MIL!

Well, K was due to have her second baby a week before I was due with Nathan. In August. We were still not talking since the whole texting fiasco. Oh sure, she was at my baby shower, we said hello, and that was it. And I actually had to give her another gift b/c my MIL decided to give her ANOTHER little shower, even though this is her second girl, and her first one is only 2-and-a-half. (I think she was needing a bit of attention- I passed on a box of diapers I had just received and got a sleep and play half price! No part of me wanted to be there.) We heard through the grapevine that she was being induced on a Friday, but didn't know at what time. So, on Saturday, Dan had called his mom to find out what was going on. She told him they had had the baby, but she'd let M tell us the news. Dan later received a text from M which said- “Not that you people give a s#!*, but K had a C-section last night.”

Now, first of all, we obviously cared, or we wouldn't have called Dan's mom to find out the facts. But, there M was, perpetuating the feud, and right before I was going to give birth myself! As if I didn't have enough stress about that! So, Dan is shaking he's so angry, and I was just in shock. He tries to let his other brother in on what was said so he could show their Mom, but the message gets distorted and Dan's mom thinks that Dan is the one who said something wrong. They get into a fight, and then Dan and M have it out on the phone that night. I was proud of Dan, though, for saying a lot of things that have been on our minds and getting some of my jabs in there, which rarely happens. And when I say jabs, I really mean well thought out facts that are said to make people see that we are not the evil doers in this situation.

Second of all, he referred to us as, “you people.” What is that?! When Dan asked what that was all about, M said that during my whole texting chaos with K in May, I had called them that. This was untrue. I didn't have the messages saved in my phone any longer, and I wish I had. But there I was, racking my brain, defending myself to Dan, trying to recount every word I had said. I remember that I purposely didn't say anything that would raise a red flag with anyone, since I knew that it would come back to bite me. I guess K got creative in the retelling of the story!

So, things were never really worked out between Dan and M. Then, about three weeks after I have Nathan, we stop over to Dan's parents' house so they can see their grandson, and so Dan's grandmother can meet him. This was after a wedding the rest of the family had gone to, but we did not, since we had too much going on. After a long car ride with an unhappy infant, we walk in, right into a crowd of people. K and M were there, right in the middle of the crowd. I was a wreck! We had to change Nathan in the next room, and Dan's cousins came in and were talking to us about the boy. M and K didn't even come over to us and meet their nephew, or talk to us, ask me how I am, nothing. They actually left right after we got there, which said a lot.

Once in a while M will text Dan something ridiculous like, “Should we send you an invite to S's baptism? I'd understand if you don't want to come.” Of course we went, and were ignored by them, as usual. K did come over to the table we were at briefly and looked at Nathan, and I said, “This is Nathan,” in a tone which said, “It's about fricken time you look at your own nephew, you witch.” I am not going to go up to these people and try to talk to them, nor is Dan, b/c we were not the ones with the problem from the beginning. I just don't need the drama.

OK. So, the most recent bit of bull happened this past weekend. We were minding our own business when Dan got a text message from M saying, “My wife and I think it might be best if we only see each other once this holiday so if you do get the girls anything bring it on the 29th & don't tell Mom.” Now, first of all, on the 29th we have plans to get together with out-of-state relatives, and we all have to be there. And, it was quite possible that it would have worked out this year that we would only see them on the 29th, anyway, since we don't always end up being on the same rotation as far as Christmas Eve and Christmas Day goes. We rotate where we spend the days, and I don't think they do. This would mean that unlike last year, when we saw them on the Eve, (and they had no reaction to our happy news of being pregnant) we would probably not be seeing them on Christmas, anyway. This has not been hammered down, though, since they might have been planning on getting together at Dan's parents after Christmas dinner to do presents. I was hoping that we could skip this anyway, since it's so far away, and we'd be at Dan's Aunt's for dinner, and who knows how late we'd be leaving there. I really don't want to have Nathan out too late. But what was M planning on doing? Asking if we were going to be there, and then saying they couldn't make it? That would be obvious, wouldn't it?

So I guess the main reason he wanted to give Dan this message was to piss us off and keep this crap going through the holiday. Instead of just seeing what happens, and enjoying their new daughter, and her first Christmas, and letting us enjoy ours with our son. Adding “don't tell Mom” really makes us laugh, b/c he's the one starting crap again, and yet he plays the old, “I don't want to spoil Mom's holiday” bull. Well what about our holiday!? This is year five in a row that he's done something like this, either with us, or with Dan's cousin, to rock the boat and cause family drama. Dan is the one being a good son and NOT telling his mother about this. But the funny thing is, he knows that even if he did, he would somehow be seen as being the one in the wrong.

You know, I would think that this boy would just be happy for his brother, this being the happiest time in his life. We tried and failed for more than two years to start a family, and now that we have a son, he's not the least bit interested in what's going on with Dan. He may have asked Dan once how Nathan's doing since he was born. It's all about him- it always has been.

So, that is what I get to deal with this Christmas. I am trying not to let this spoil my attitude for my family's sake. I just wish Dan's mother really understood what was going on here. I am going to have to grow a backbone and tell her one of these days, that it's not us who like to cause trouble. It's the golden couple. Wish me luck!

A Shout Out

After a while of not even looking at my stat counter, I checked it out yesterday. It says I actually have more readers than I thought. To you I say, sorry for not being all that exciting. One from Australia (G'day!), one from France (Bonjour!), another from Canada (aye!), another from Argentina (um...Hi!). And a few across the country. Crazy! If you are any of these people, can you just drop me a note sometime, and let me know who you are? Or who I am, for that matter. This way, I can check YOU out if you have a blog. Good stuff! Thanks!

Kitty Drama

I haven't updated on this blog in a while, so here goes. I've had my male kitty, Clovis, for 11 years now. He was young when I got him, maybe 6 months old. Always healthy at every check-up, just a bit overweight in recent years. He's had a little sister, Ginger, for three years now, and they get along like siblings. In August, Dan noticed a small pimple-sized lump on the top of his head, near his ear. We took him to the vet to check it out, but it was too small to get a sample from to be tested at the time. So, we were told to watch it and we'd have another look at it when he was due for his regular check-up, which was in October. October comes, and they used the needle to take a sample from the lump, after shaving a little spot of hair on his handsome head. Dan had taken him, and told me when they got home that they "ruined" him. I felt so bad for the guy. He takes pride in his looks! Well, after a few days, I noticed that the spot was not healing up, mostly b/c Clovis was scratching at it every now and then. What they hadn't told Dan when he took him in, was that by taking a sample to be tested, it would release histamines, which would make the poor guy itch, and that we could prevent this by giving him an antihistamine! Clovis has never had to take drugs before, but I would have been fine with this!


We also had been told that the sample they took tested positive for a mast cell tumor. This is quite common in cats, especially where it is located. So, it may or may not be cancerous, and it may or may not be a sign that it's also in one or more of his organs. So I am freaking out. The vet suggested that we have an ultrasound done to find out, but we could also just watch him and see, since this IS very common in cats, and may not be cancerous. An ultrasound would cost $300.00. That's a lot of cash for us right now. And I'm just hoping we'd find out that he's ok. So, right now, we watch him. He also seems to have fleas! Which means that Ginger probably does, too. We checked her, and she does. A lot of them! So we treated the fleas on both of them with this oil by Zodiac, which didn't do more than make them very oily. We haven't been able to cuddle with them, or have them on the couch with us, or our bedroom, or Nathan's. After never really closing our bedroom doors, now we have to have them closed all the time, b/c the thought of flea eggs falling off everywhere in the house creeps me out. We have been vacuuming all the time, which makes me feel a bit better, but the first month of treatment was a bust, b/c we couldn't give them another chemical until a month after the first dose!


Ok, so we were dealing with that, and then on October 30th, Clovis' spot on his head was really looking bad. You see, he's not a big fan of getting his nails trimmed, so his feet pretty much have daggers on them (he's declawed in the front). And he must have aggravated the spot on his head so much that it just kept getting bigger and nastier. So, I went to the vet, found out why he was scratching at it (histamines), and got some drugs for him and a cone for his head so he couldn't reach the sore. Got home, and he was sleeping, so I figured I'd put it on him in the morning. WRONG! Halloween morning I wake up at 6am to Dan saying, "We have a problem with Clovis."


!!!!!!!!!!Gross alert!!!!!!!!!!


I assume the worst. Dan had him in the bathroom, with the cone, and said that he had scratched the scab on his head clear off! I was starting to black out, and I thought I'd throw up, just from picturing what his head must look like. Sure enough, Clovis had a hole on the top of his head about a half inch wide and deep. It had only bled a little, but now just looked like an open wound. I couldn't even look at it! Dan said something like, "He looks like he did his own surgery," which kinda made sense to me, since it seemed like the tumor was getting bigger ever since we had it tested. "If I had just left this alone, I wonder if this would have not been as big of a deal," I wonder.


So, I call the vet, and they told me to bring him in. I can't take a 16 pound cat anywhere when I also have a 13 pound baby, so my mother came up to take care of Nathan. The nurse shaved his head a bit more, to clean the wound up, and they gave me steroids and an antibiotic for him. So, this poor cat has fleas bugging him, is on three different drugs, and has a cone around his head! The cone is preventing him from cleaning himself AND going after the fleas, PLUS he's being kept out of our room, where he loves to hang out with us. And I can't really pet him if I have the baby with me, since he's extra dirty. He probably thinks he's being punished for something.


It has now been a month, and Clovis' head looks great. I still keep the cone on him b/c now whenever he's got it off so he can clean himself or eat dinner, he's pulling out clumps of hair! Now, I don't know if it's b/c he's so behind on his cleaning, or he itches b/c of the fleas, or if he's just upset. The vet said it could also be the histamines going through the rest of his body, so we just got more of the antihistamines for him. The vet told me he could very well be on this drug for the rest of his life, if I choose, and that may help with the tumor, if the cells have spread all over his skin. Sounds lovely, doesn't it?


It was funny- when I went into the vet for like the fourth time to get the stuff that really works on the fleas (Front Line), I asked what I can do about him pulling out his hair. A vet that happened to overhear said I could put him on Prozac! Like he doesn't have enough crap going on! I guess it makes sense, if it is in fact an emotional issue, but it could be any number of things, and I think it's kinda crazy to put him on Prozac. Hey- if I've survived all these years without it, I'm sure the big guy will be fine.